Death And All His Friends
by Chattia
Summary: My own ending to 4.11 Lay Your Hands On Me , Meredith don't want to live without Derek , will Derek change his mind before it's to late ?


**Welcome everyone to ' Death And All His Friends my oneshot about Meredith Grey & Derek Shepherd**

uhm .. if you decide to read this , don't kill me if you hate it .. plz ;) anyways it's a new take to what happened after Meredith and Derek broke up in **Lay Your **

**Hands On Me, and it's NOTHING I ever want to happen .. it's just .. i don't even know what it is xP just read it and tell me what you think ..**

**and oh btw .. you should seriously think about not reading this if you have any kind of issue with death or suicide **

**  
and I do not own Grey's ( bcs if I did it would be all about MD instead ) Shonda and ABC does**

_Death. It's a hard thing to understand isn't it? Kind of scary too, It doesn't take that much to steal a life from its owner. It's sad how easy it is, and sometimes, most times, you don't even know it. You see death really doesn't have anything to do with weather your body is working or not, weather or not you can berath or if blod is serculating through your veins. When you're really dead your body can be just fine. It's you're soul that isn't._

The room was deadly quiet; she couldn't hear a sound except for her own shallow breathing. She felt extremely numb. She didn't feel anything. She didn't feel that single burning tear make its way down her face. She didn't feel the cold metal pressed gently against her temple. She didn't feel scared about the fact that it was her mother's old revolver. It didn't seem to matter. She didn't feel anything without him, anything except dead. She didn't have reason anymore. No reason whatsoever. Her legs were shaking; it took all the power in the word just to stand up. She didn't want to do this anymore. She stood there for a moment trying to grasp what had happened just a few hours ago, she couldn't. She stopped breathing for a moment and suddenly it was all too much, her legs gave away and she fell down on her knees. She screamed out in pain, not because of the fall, but because of him. She felt more tears slip down her cheeks and she sobbed hard. It was over. He was with someone else. Someone better. Someone more suitable for hm. Nothing like her. Nothing, that's what she is. She means nothing to him, he practically hates her. The thoughts swirled around in her head. She needed it to stop.  
"Please" She cried out.  
"Please" She said again as she took another breath. It was all torturing her, his sad face and that nurses pretty one. She gasped for air, she couldn't breathe.  
"Oh my god." She said trying to fill her lungs with air. She couldn't. She couldn't do anything, so she sat there trying to control her tears waiting for the right moment.

Derek felt horrible, he didn't want to do this, and he didn't want to leave her. He couldn't see the cute brunette sitting opposite him by the table; instead he was taunted by images of her, her beautiful smile the first night they met. Her warm body under his own the first time they made love and of course; her sad, broken face looking up at him with pleading eyes just before he broke her even more. He felt his heart crumble. How could he leave her when she asked him to stay, when she had told him just days before that she wanted to be with him? He couldn't understand why the hell he had done that.  
"Derek?" Derek looked up to see Roses face looking at him worryingly.  
Rose studied his face for a moment and she couldn't help but notice the differences, his eyes was filled with tears, his breathing was shallow and much quicker than before and his body was pulled as far away from her possible. Her heart broke, not because she knew it was because she was there, and not Meredith but because of the pain she saw in his eyes.  
"You have to go" Rose said quietly.  
"You have to go to her" She said as her own eyes burned with tears.  
"What are you talking about?" Derek asked leaning in a little closer towards Rose. She took his hand that was laying on the table in hers.  
"You don't want to be here, and that's fine. I understand now." She laughed as a tear escaped her eye. She dried it quickly with her free hand.  
"You're meant to be with her. You, Derek Shepherd are meant to be with Meredith Grey." Rose looked into his eyes. She could see that he was unsure, that she had taken him of guard, surprised him, when she had told him that he was in love with someone else.  
"Thank you ..." he whispered as he stood up. He leaned in and kissed her cheek softly.  
"… So much" he finished. Rose waved her hand in the air and smiled.  
"You're welcome" Derek rushed out of the bar and five minutes later he was on his way.

Meredith didn't know what she waited for when she sat there, still the gun pressed firmly against her temple. Maybe she still hoped that he would change his mind and come back. She held on to the thought, enjoying the feeling of hope for a moment before she stopped herself.  
"He isn't coming" She said to herself firmly. But still .. maybe he..  
"HE ISN'T COMING YOU STUPID BITCH" She screamed. And then the tears started to fall from her cheeks once again.  
"He isn't coming" She sobbed. And she knew that this was the time. She knew that her time was now. So she pressed the trigger slowly.

Derek drove fast to Meredith's house. He knew she would be home alone; he smiled to himself as he stepped out of the car and then he heard it. A sound strong enough to scare anyone off, a sound he recognized in fear. For a moment he just stood there too scared to actually move his body. He blinked a couple of times and then forced himself to take another step towards the door. When he was two steppes away he, for some strange reason, decided to close his eyes. He put his hand out to feel the door knob and he opened the door. The feeling that washed over him was quite overwhelming. It didn't use to feel like that in Meredith's home. It felt sad and kind of dead, he stopped dead in the middle of his thoughts and he couldn't help but open his eyes as he opened the second door. And after just a glance down at the floor he couldn't breath. His life was over when he saw her. Just as she no longer had a life nor did he. Because Derek Shepherd without his Meredith Grey is like Romeo without his Juliet. Dead. They're dead without each other. He fell down onto his knees and just stared at her. He couldn't move. She.. she had.. he couldn't even think it. Gone. That was what she was. He crawled up to her lifeless body and looked at her face. He took her face in his arms and shook it lightly.  
"Meredith" he whispered with panic in his voice. He knew that he was too late, just a couple of minutes late. If he hadn't stayed, if he had been a man and told Rose the truth not have her telling him it. He felt sick. He had been just yards away from her and still somehow, so far away. He had failed her. All he wanted was her. Her giggle her touch. But she was gone. The tears burned his eyes, threatening to spill over any second.  
"NO" he screamed and shook her tiny frame.  
"You can't be gone, you hear me? You can't leave me like this" He cried out. The tears were falling from his cheeks landing in her hair that was now full of her own blood.  
"You can't.." He trailed off, trying to think of the right words to say. Trying to figure out what he could possibly say to bring her back. But his mind was blank. He held her body and leaned in to whisper in her ear.  
"I love you. Please.." He said desperately. Then he put his head on her shoulder and cried. He sat there and cried, cried until all of his tears were gone. He cried for everything in life that didn't mean anything any more. And for the one thing that did, but that he no longer possessed. _Her._ He couldn't take it anymore, he had to be with her. She was his life purpose, she was his meaning. He took the gun up in his hand. He kissed Meredith's lips gently.

"I will see you soon again my love"

**I don't really know what I feel about it .. I just had to get it all out .. and this is what happened , comment what you think (:**

- Anna


End file.
